Monthly Archives: December 2008

As I end my work day early to celebrate the new year, I wanted to take a quick moment to wish everyone a safe, abundant, blessed and joyous new year. The start of a new year always feels a bit magical. I feel blessed to have my family and good friends around me as we say good-bye to 2008 and usher in 2009.

Thank you to all of my readers–those who have left comments and those who have stayed in touch over the ten plus years that I have kept a blog. Your encouragement and support mean more to me than I could ever express. The new year will bring new challenges, but when you are surrounded by love it seems like anything is possible.

I want to take a moment and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. As I write happy holidays, it feels a bit bland and incredibly PC, which I am not. I was raised in the Christian tradition, and all of my life at this time of year I have said Merry Christmas because to my mind this is the time of year that we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. But not everyone in this world shares my beliefs. People of the Jewish faith celebrate Hanukkah, and then there is Kwanzaa, a celebration that was invented in the late sixties in an attempt to give Black people a holiday that allowed them to embrace their African roots. But in the end, each of these are just ideas that large groups of people have decided to embrace. Those of us that share a certain set of beliefs gather around our trees, our kinaras, our menorahs and reinforce those shared beliefs and pass them on to the next generation.

As I teach the Christian traditions to my children, I also strive to teach them to keep their minds open to the possibility that there are other ideas and ways of thinking out there. I try to teach them that just because a large group of people believe something it does not necessarily make it true.

For me the most important part of the Christmas season is being together as a family. Because I’m now divorced, I must split this holiday with my girls. They wake up at home with me, open presents and have a big Christmas breakfast and then they hang around playing with their toys until its time to get dressed to go to daddy’s house. I drop them off with him and usually spend the rest of the day alone. Co-parenting is not easy, and as I pull away from his house I get a pang of regret that we are no longer a big, happy, intact family. But then I am reminded of why I divorced him and the regret is washed away with relief.

My wish is for everyone to be happy–to make good choices that make you happy. Make sure that those you love know how you feel about them, and embrace the simple joy of this blessed season.

Today it was a whopping 17 degrees outside, so we decided to hunker down and stay inside where its warm. It was the first day of the girl’s Christmas vacation, and we spent the majority of the day in my bed. I was working away on my laptop, Leila was knitting a cowl/neckwarmer for herself, and Jordan was creating handmade Christmas cards. Every now and then she would ask me how to spell something that she was writing on her little cards that were created by folding a piece of 8 1/2″ x 11″ paper folded into quarters. She has recently learned how to make ‘bubble letters,’ so she is having fun drawing the letters and then coloring them in.

Leila is having trouble sticking with the Knit 4, Purl 2 rib pattern, so she occasionally hands her knitting over to me to show her how to fix her errors like when she drops a stitch or knits where she should have purled. When Jordan sees Leila getting all of this attention with her knitting, she decided that she wants to learn how to knit. So, I pulled out a blue ball of wool and cast on 20 stitches. First I demonstrated how to o the knit stitch, and then I let her try it. She lacks Leila’s dexterity, but she’ll catch on knitting is really not that hard.

I was able to get a little bit of writing done while refereeing the squabble about not enough space on mommy’s bed. I’m enjoying having my girls all together in one place, but I’m not sure that I will survive two weeks of all of this togetherness.

I’m off to make a big pot of chili and some biscuits for dinner.

Today I had the honor of attending my little one’s first grade “Holiday Extravaganza.” The faculty of the school tried really hard to keep things very PC, but the teachers were able to inject their own Christmas flavor into the event. It was delightful to see how hard the kids worked to learn their lines and remember the lyrics. They all performed with such enthusiasm and joy. Jordan’s class sang, “The Chipmunk Song,” and they did a fabulous job. I wished that I had remembered to bring my video camera to record it. There were lots of songs and poetry recitations. First graders are just awesome.

I brought my knitting along and I managed to finish one of the tiny hats that I am making for the Save the Children’s, “Knit One Save One” project. I am going to try to organize an impromptu group at my local knitting shop to make some of these and send them in. Here’s a picture:

After the performance, we went back up to the classroom and had a lovely pot-luck brunch prepared by all of the parents. We all ate together and then the parents went back to work.

When I got back home to my office, I got a lovely email from Sheena of mommy daddy blog fame, and guess what? Yep, you guessed it. I won the contest for a gift card for OBLI Organics. They carry lots of screen printed cotton tees and dresses for babies and little children. I will use it to get a sweet little top for my first grader.

As 2008 comes to a close I am thinking about my plans and ideas and wishes for the coming year. I really love New Year’s Day because it represents yet another chance to get it right. On that day we stand poised on the brink of the freshness of life. Everything is new. We walk around smiling and greeting strangers with a hearty, “Happy New Year!” and positivity just seems to float in the air. The year 2008 was not a banner year for me, and as it drags on out of here I give it a kick in the butt, wipe its dust off of my feet and turn towards the new year with a renewed sense of hope and possibility.

I was in quite a funk last week–quite a dark one and it took awhile to shake myself out of it. Sometimes it’s so much easier to just give in to those feelings of hopelessness and despair when they creep in along the edges. I was finding few positive things to feel hopeful about, so I began to allow myself to sink low. Even for those days while I was wallowing in self-pity I knew that there was a better choice, but I was tired of the frustration of trying to help myself and failing time and again. But I finally came to the conclusion that if I did not want to end up in a mental health facility in a padded room, then I needed to get a grip on myself and snap out of it. Yesterday I heard someone say, “My best days are ahead of me.” but I know that my best time is right now. In this moment I am all that I will ever be. I embrace the fact that I have not accomplished all that I set out to this year. I acknowledge that I have wasted a lot of valuable time in my life, but I am also confident in the knowledge that God will neither leave me nor forsake me. I know that I have the strength to get through any circumstance that I find myself in and prevail in the end because I am still here. Every challenge that has come before me in the past I have overcome, and so I feel confident as I move forward.

Despite the fact that I said that I would not set any goals this year, to shake myself up and get my creative juices flowing, I decided to write a list that would encompass my, “Money no object, pie in the sky dreams and wishes for 2009.” The following is a list of the things that I would love to do if I had no limitations whatsoever in no particular order:

• Learn to fly an airplane
• Publish a book
• Build my dream house
• Travel to Barbados, Italy, France, Niger, Sudan and Australia
• Visit my family and friends in Oregon and California
• Learn to play the piano
• Have a gallery showing of my paintings
• Attend cooking school

For today I will embrace each moment and simply do the next thing that comes up. I am grateful for my health, my (relative) sanity , the talents that I was blessed with, my children, my family and friends and my faith. With all of these things intact, 2009 can throw whatever she will at me, or bring me all of the desires of my heart. I am here and I am ready.

Sheena, who is the mommy part of the mommy daddy
blog, does my graphics for me. I was visiting her blog today and found that they are doing a giveaway to help kids in need this Christmas. It ends on Dec. 14th, so get right on it. Here’s the info:

MommyDaddyBlog.com is giving away a $20 gift certificate to OBLI Organics as part of their Three Gs For The Holidays event! Click on over right now to get in on fun giveaways, get shopping ideas from their Gift Guide, and learn how you can help children in need this holiday season!

I was listening to the Gayle King Show on Oprah & Friends on xmradio this morning when I heard her mention that today is National Pastry Day. Somehow, my inner pastry chef/goddess knew of this obscure food holiday because this morning I felt compelled to whip up a quick batch of oatmeal cookies. I was packing lunch for the girls when I noticed that we were out of snack items. “Why not whip up some cookies real quick?” And so I did and they came out really good. There are not many things more wonderful than the smell of oatmeal cookies baking in the morning. “Can I try one?” asked my youngest child, Jordan. She proclaimed as I was making them that she really didn’t like oatmeal cookies, that she would really rather that I make chocolate chip cookies or brownies. I agreed with her, but said that we did not have any chocolate in the house. When the cookies were cooling on the rack in front of her as she ate her breakfast, I think the smell got to her, and she decided to try one. She took the tiniest of bites, gazed at the ceiling as she contemplated the flavor, and then declared, “Yes. I like these cookies, Mommy.” and she grabbed a few to add to her lunch. Leila, my ten-year-old, popped one in her mouth and then also put some in a bag to go with her lunch.

In honor of National Pastry Day, I am sharing a link to the recipe for this culinary classic, the Vanishing Oatmeal Raisin Cookies, from Quaker Oats. This is the only recipe that I have used to make basic, garden variety oatmeal cookies for my entire life. My mom used to use this recipe when I was growing up as well. It can be found on their web site, or, conveniently enough, inside the lid of the ‘old fashioned’ Quaker Oats box. So, make some pastries, or buy a pastry, celebrate these little bits of heavenly goodness and be happy.

I think I say this every year, but it really seems like this year has flown by in a blurr. My baby girl is now six years old, and we are preparing to inagurate the first Black President of the United States. Our economy has slipped into a recession, which means hard times are here again. My philosophy is to strike a balance between hopeful optimism and abject denial of the current state of affairs. I don’t see how it’s productive to get all down and depressed because the economy sucks right now. I am alive,and well my children are alive, healthy and happy. We have a home and food to eat, so it’s all good. I am thankful for every blessing that God sends, and I do my best to give and share what I have with those who have even less than we do.

This has been a strange year for me. It began with me poised to realize a big goal of buying my first home. I was greatly disappointed when that did not work out, but through the months that followed, I can see that God had his hand in it, and it was all for the best. I will get my house when the time is right and when the right house comes along. Patience is something that I pray for and work towards every day because it does not come naturally to me. I am confident that what God has for me no person can keep from me. What others have meant for evil towards me, God has turned things around and made it for the best, so I won’t complain. I know that He is working things out for me.

Normally at this time of the year I sit down and set goals for the coming year, but for some reason I don’t feel compelled to do that this year. There are some things in my heart that I have always desired, and since God in His wisdom created me He also created those desires in my heart. I am going to work towards living fully in each moment and loving each moment and seeing where life takes me.

Do you plan to set some big new goals for the coming year? What is the one thing that you hope to be able to accomplish in 2009?

I am thankful for having survived Thanksgiving weekend! We made the big pilgrimage up to Massachusetts and New Hampshire to visit my family for the holiday. It took me eight hours to drive up there with no traffic on Tuesday, but it took us eleven hours to get home on Saturday. But it was well worth it to see everyone again. We’ve not been home in two years, so the family was amazed at how much the girls have grown.

We had Thanksgiving dinner with my mother’s family in West Medford, MA, which is the town I grew up in. It was a family reunion of my mother’s family, and it was held in the West Medford Community Center, which is across the street from a house that we lived in when I was small. They have completely rebuilt the community center and it is a beautiful facility now. When I was a child I attended girl scouts there and day camp in the summer. I took a walk down the street to the playground where we used to play when I was a child. The tennis courts are still there, but, of course the park has been completely renovated and has new equipment in it. But as I walked around I remembered where that tall slide used to be that would get sizzling hot in the summer sun. There was a merry-go-round that went so fast that when you got off you often felt like tossing your cookies. The swing set was still in the same location although it looked much smaller than I remember.

It was great to go back home and reminisce about my happy childhood days. Although I am over 40 now, that little girl is still alive in me. She remembers those summer days when my siblings and I would sit on the grass and watch my parents play tennis. When we were growing up they used to fight unmercifully with each other, but when they got on the tennis courts they played well together and made a formidable team. They laughed and played and enjoyed themselves, and other couples enjoyed taking them on. I remember wishing that they could bring some of that same feeling off of the courts and into our home. When they played tennis together its like they loved each other again, and it was magical to watch.

Anyway, we had a lovely visit and I will make sure that it’s not two years before wego back and visit. Next time I will bring another driver along to share the driving so that I do not have to arrive exhausted. Here is a picture that my cousin snapped of my two youngest girls on Thanksgiving using my cell phone:

I was shocked and amazed this morning when I stepped on the scale at the gym to face the reckoning of five days without exercise. Can you believe that I actually lost three pounds over Thanksgiving week? My modest goal was to just stick to my plan and not gain any weight. I did stick to my plan, but since we were constantly coming and going I never got a chance to exercise and I spent hours on end in the car going from place to place. I was both pleased and proud that I did not have to do any ‘damage control.’ It felt good to be in the gym again and back in my fitness routine. It feels even better to be that much closer rather than farther away from my goal.

I hope that everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday. I am looking forward now to getting ready for Christmas. I really love to enjoy Christmas through the eyes of my children. It’s such a fun time of the year, and I have taught them the value of giving and not expecting a huge pile of gifts, but that we should focus on and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas in our hearts always. But, when you’re a kid, none of that really means a lot until you’re older. It’s just fun to get cool stuff on Christmas, and it’s one of those memorable and enjoyable parts of childhood that I look back fondly on. I hope that my girls will too.