Monthly Archives: August 2009

Feet in the Street Celebration

On Saturday, Jordan, a friend and I attended the first annual “Feet in the Street” festival at Fort DuPont Park, which is a National Park located two blocks from our home. The morning was damp and cloudy and the dark skies threatened rain at any moment, but we went anyway. When I saw the signs for the event earlier in the month I figured that there would be a big crowd. Every Saturday night in the summer there are free concerts at the Fort DuPont ampitheatre, and those events are always crowded, but there was hardly anyone around when we reached the visitors center about an hour into the event. They blocked off all of the entrances to the park so that no cars could come through, which made it much easier to walk around.

Jordan got her face painted with purple butterflies by an Australian woman named Christalene who had a booth set up. Then she got a temporary tatoo with a logo from the day’s events on her shoulder. We walked around and looked at the different booths and met up with a guy named Lee from the Anacostia Watershed Society. He was leading nature tours through the trails in the park. We set off into the woods with Lee leading the way and clearing the path of spiderwebs for us. He pointed out some of the invasive species that were causing damage to the trees in the park, and he pointed out the poison ivy plants that were all over the place. I learned that one of my favorite plants, English Ivy, is one of those non-native, invasive species that is really taking over and hurting the trees in the Fort Circle Parks here in D.C. The AWS is working on legislation that would ban the sale of English Ivy in nurseries in Maryland just as they lobbied for the legislation that put a 5 cent fee on those plastic grocery bags in D.C. grocery stores starting January 1, 2010. We walked along the damp trail getting bitten by mosquitoes and learning about the trees and plants in these woods that are so close to our home. The trail ended across from the community garden area. Lee left us there and went on to lead another nature hike further into the park.

We stopped at the community garden to listen to the presentation and to learn about how to get a garden plot for next year’s gardening season. I spoke with the National Park Service ranger, who directed me to Rev. Hackney to find out more about getting signed up for a garden plot. I had downloaded an application from the NPS web site, but the whole process of actually getting a plot was kept a bit cloudy and mysterious. He took my name and contact information and said that I would be put on the list, but that I still had to submit an application. The plots are given out on a first come, first served basis, and you had to take the plot that you were given.

After a short presentation, we were given a tour of the gardens, which by now many of them were neglected by their custodians. The late summer heat had driven all but the hardiest of the gardeners away, and their plots were overrun with weeds and pests. But some people had kept up with their gardens and their plots were yielding beans, peppers, tomatoes, okra, squash, and corn. When the tour was over we were allowed to take home some peaches, sweet potatoes and green beans that were there in big bins. I made cobbler with the peaches we brought home, and I baked some of the yams and served them with supper.

I am looking forward to planning my 25X25 foot garden for next year. When I was growing up in southern Oregon we had an organic garden and a greenhouse, we raised rabbits, goats, sheep and chickens. At the time we thought that it was strange to be living on a farm after having come from living in the suburbs in Massachusetts. Now I am glad that we had those experiences because I get to put all of that knowledge of composting, gardening, canning and food preservation to good use.

Sunday was Daddy’s birthday, and to celebrate it, I baked his favorite spice cake with cream cheese frosting. I had to giggle when I spoke to my stepmom who said that Daddy had requested three different birthday cakes for himself from three different people. Daddy liked cake. So we celebrated him and all that he meant to us. It warmed my heart and I did not shed a single tear. He took up so much space in my heart and in my life and he will never be forgotten. As I am moving through the grieving process it is giving me a deep sense of fellowship with others who are suffering the grief of loss. Life is short, so don’t miss the opportunity to tell everyone around you how much they mean to you while you still can.

This is the last day of summer for my girls. Tomorrow the eldest will begin her junior year of college, the next one will start sixth grade and my youngest will begin second grade. They have been home with me all summer for the first time. They usually attend summer camp, but as I’m now working from home I decided to keep them home rather than pay for summer camp. Can someone please tell me what I was thinking? It was definitely challenging to keep them entertained, happy, fed and out from under my feet so that I could work. We live in a small apartment, so it was not always easy. But I think that we had a lovely summer. We spent a lot of time at the library surfing the free WiFi and enjoying their arctic cold air conditioning on those super-hot days when the apartment was just to stifling. We also spent a lot of time in the pool. I am so proud of Jordan, my youngest child who progressed from being a bit skittish about even getting into the pool to now being able to swim like a fish under water.

We went home at the beginning of August for my dad’s funeral and spent a week with the family in Massachusetts. I still can’t get used to the fact that my dad is gone. It’s interesting how we grieve differently for different people in our lives. For me, I think that his death being so unexpected that shocked me. When my grandpa passed away earlier in the year he was 93 years old. He was ready to go and we were ready to let him go in peace. Yes I mourned his passing because I love him dearly, but somehow with him I felt comforted by the fact that he was finally at home in heaven. With daddy, I feel like I am experiencing all of the stages of grief in a jumbled up fashion every single day. It’s hard. I know that I should be happy that he is in heaven and that he has no more pain and that he is with God, but slefishly, I still want him to be here with me. I know that in time my feelings in this will change, but for now everything is really close to the surface for me. I’m already a crier, but jeez, it seems like everything is making me cry these days. When I saw this picture taken of me and daddy at my wedding posted on my brother’s Facebook page sent me straight over the edge:

Daddy at my Wedding

For now I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who left comments of condolence for me, my friends who sent emails and Facebook messages. It’s hard to know what to say when someone has lost a loved one. I feel like in my grief I have learned to have a lot more empathy for others who are suffering.

I am looking forward to the fall when we will be back to a regular routine and I will have quiet, uninterrupted work time at home while the girls are in school. I have some exciting projects in the pipeline for the fall and I will share them in the coming weeks.

On Tuesday, August 4, 2009, my dad passed gently away in his sleep. He was not sick. It was an ordinary Tuesday morning, but it was his ‘unexpected hour’ when God decided to call him to His side. I loved my dad and we were very close, but it was a closeness that was hard-won after years of rockiness, held grudges and lack of communication. I am so glad that we took the time to sort out our differences and create a loving relationship.My Pastor said that daddy, “took up a lot of space,” and in so doing he has left a huge void in my heart. We spoke at least once a week, and sometimes I’d get a random text message from him.

My dad was a technophile, but he was a late bloomer as far as computers go. My mom brought a computer home in 1980, but he did not get one until the mid 90’s. He used to grumble that he didn’t want to spend money on something that would be obsolete by the time he got it out of the box. But he took to computers quickly and became an expert. He was my go-to guy for tech support, and he could diagnose computer problems with uncanny accuracy.

The day he passed away was one day after my daughter’s birthday. He had a faulty memory for everyone’s birthday but his own. On Monday morning he called me to ask if it was indeed Bri’s birthday. I confirmed that it was and he said that he was going to call her and wake her up with a rousing rendition of “Happy Birthday.” I told him that I was going to set up a google calendar for him that would send him email reminders for all of his children’s birthdays.

Daddy died right in the middle of everything. I did not get the chance to hug him or tell him goodbye or how much I loved him. But I am grateful that he is now in the arms of the Lord. All of his sadness and pain and stress have been taken away and he lives in the joy of heaven.

So, as I learn to put one foot in front of the other again, and find a way to live my life without my daddy in it, I will try to take on some of the strengths that he posessed and shared generously with the world. My dad was down-to-earth, he was kind, he was generous, he had an insatiable curiosity about life, and an infectious sense of humour. I will always love him and never, ever forget him.

Rest in peace, pappa.