When I started this blog my 12-year-old was a baby, and I was experimenting with HTML, publishing online and getting over my shyness about sharing publicly what I had previously only ever written in my journal. I continue to keep a written journal that I have written in every day since I was 12. Writing in my journal is an important ritual in my day. Writing this blog and opening up a dialogue with my readers has blessed me beyond measure and really opened up my world.

Brnwebgrrl was my first blog, and I started i before it was actually called blogging. I had what was referred to as a, ‘personal home page,’ or an, ‘online journal.’ I wrote about my life as a single mom, working in a non-profit and trying to heal from the break-up of an eight-year long relationship. My readers encouraged me and made me feel like what I was saying mattered to someone. My first website did not have any kind of built-in commenting function as I had hand-coded the site myself, so my followers just emailed me. Funny how in those days it was safe to put your email address right on your website, right? After awhile I found a commenting widget that I added to the sidebar and my site became more interactive.

I learned and grew and as the technology developed I moved from a free server–fortunepages.com–and bought my own domain name and hosting account. Finally, in 2008 it became clear that hand coding an HTML page by hand made no sense with all of the cool blogging systems available, so I switched over to Wordpress and abandoned my old website.

But now it seems that it is time to say farewell to brnwebgrrl. I gave my site that name because when I first got started online in 1996, I was only ever meeting older, white men who were online creating websites and exploring online publishing. But now so many of the dreams I held back then have come true. I’ve got my own successful online business which allows me to do work that I love from home. That business has taken up so much of my life and it deserves my attention because it is my offering to the world and my livelihood. I have been neglecting this blog to the point where it no longer makes sense to keep it up and only post once a month.

About a year ago I finally purchased evelynbourne.com, and that will be the home of my personal blog. I will be writing about what is going on in my life and in my business and on the topic of personal development. My business blog, A Productive Pen will remain and on that blog I will focus on writing and marketing.

So, as this amazing year comes to an end, so does this blog that has been like a close friend to me for the past 12 years. It has been my confidante and it has forced me to break out of my comfort zone and speak what is in my heart. It has allowed me to meet some amazing people and connect on a deep level with others that I may never meet.

As I kiss my girl, brnwebgrrl goodbye, I invite you to stop by my newest blogging project, which is my 31 Intentions Blog. Because 2010 was such a fabulous year for me, I wanted to challenge myself to take a solid month and write a positive intention for each day to set the tone for the coming New Year. I also wanted to express my sincere gratitude for all of the wonderful blessings of the year that has gone by. So, please visit, http://31intentions.evelynbourne.com, and leave a comment. I’m also welcoming guest bloggers who want to share a post about their intentions.

Thank you to everyone who has visited this blog and left encouraging comments. They mean more to me than you know. I covet your continued support with my other blogging projects as I move into another level of greatness in 2011.

I am blessed and honored to be a part of a fabulous group of women who all live and work here in D.C. We get together quarterly for ‘Girls’ Night Out,’ events where we take full advantage of living in this fabulous city that is our nation’s capitol. Last night we had our final GNO of 2010, and we ended the year with a flourish by visiting the White House for the Christmas Open House. It was a lovely evening after these days of bitter, freezing temperatures it was in the 40’s. We walked through the East Wing admiring the decorations and snapping photos every now and then.

There was a live band playing Christmas music and there was an air of happy festivity.

After our White House tour, we walked across the street to Old Ebbet’s Grill for dinner. For each Girls’ Night Out, one member takes on the task of purchasing gifts for everyone. Last night it was Kim’s night to shine. When we arrived at our table, there was a gift bag and a small, white pastry box tied with ribbon at each place setting. While we enjoyed our appetizers, Kim asked each person to look on the tag that was attached to each bag and read the number. As each woman read the number on her bag, she had to sing ther verse to the song, ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas’ that went with that number. I drew the number seven, so my verse was, ’seven swans a swimming.’ Then we opened our bags to find a Christmas tree ornament adorned with that number and an image, mine being a swan. We also got a bottle of sparkling wine and Godiva chocolates.

We enjoyed a lovely supper laughing and chatting and catching up with each other. One of the women recently got married in October, so we celebrated her, and we debated some of the hot topics of the day and just enjoyed each other.

I love my sister-girlfriends and I look forward to our next event, which is scheduled for some time in March.

My memories of Michael Jackson go all the way back to when I was a little girl. My sisters and brother and I loved the music of the Jackson Five, and I remember watching their variety show that came on Saturday nights in the 70’s. ABC is my favorite song of his from those early days when he was young and adorable.

I was so sad when I heard about his death yesterday afternoon. In fact, at first when I saw the tweets about it on twitter I didn’t think that it could possibly be true, so I kept working.

All throughout my growing up years I enjoyed Michael’s music. I danced to his music at the club and it was part of the soundtrack of my life. When Thriller came out we watched in non-stop on Mtv. I think that I largely took his gifts and his talents for granted, and because he had always been there he would continue to be there.

When he was having all of his legal troubles I was embarrassed for him and I wondered why he kept making such poor choices. He was clearly plagued by many demons and he never seemed to be happy.

His death points out the fact that we as human beings often don’t show each other how much we appreciate each other until after someone dies. He was a fabulously talented man whose talents utterly transformed the world. His death is being mourned all over the world. Yes, he was troubled, but he had a huge, generous heart and his gifts to us will be his lasting legacy.

Godspeed, Michael.

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On Sunday I celebrated my 42nd birthday. I did most of my celebrating on Saturday at the Maryland Sheep & Wool festival. I had a great time shopping and hanging out with friends old and new. I met up with a new friend, Loren, who I’ve been chatting with online on Ravlery.com for the past year. She surprised me with a lovely gift of yarn for my birthday and some chocolate covered mints.

I also received a lovely bracelet, some delicious chocolates and other special treats. After I got home on Sunday evening I hung out with my girls and had a great time. Before I went to bed I checked my Facebook profile and found that I had two pages of birthday greetings. It was fun responding to everyone.

My birthday was relaxing and enjoyable. Turning 42 isn’t so bad.

For the past few days we have been enjoying much warmer than normal temperatures here in the D.C. Metro area. On Sunday and yesterday it was above 90 degrees–quite rare for the month of April. I had to drag out the AC several weeks if not a month earlier than usual because it’s been just too hot to sleep. Today we are forecast to see a break in this pattern as we are expecting thunderstorms and rain starting this afternoon and into tomorrow, which is only forecast to reach the mid 60’s–closer to normal late-April temps.

I took full advantage of this beautiful morning and did my morning devotional outside in the park. We live just steps away from a lovely National Park, which has lush, green rolling hills and beautiful trees. I found a grassy spot at the top of a hill and sat there and read a little bit from Michael Beckwith’s new book, Spiritual Liberation, and then a bit from the Bhagavad Gita. Just last week I finished reading a verse a day from the Tao, and the Gita was the next spiritual text on my list. I meditated for awhile and then did my morning pages.

The park rangers on duty all waved friendly ‘”Hellos” and a then man showed up with his dogs that he was running off-leash on the fields. One of them was a miniature poodle who came bounding up to me and then stopped short. He checked me out, but was too shy to let me pat him. He turned on his heels and went tearing back across the field to his owner. Soon that cool breeze was beginning to die down and the sun was growing hotter and hotter, so I decided to head back home.

I am grateful for the time I was able to spend out among the trees and just enjoying this beautiful earth that we have been blessed with. I am grateful for the words of wisdom written down thousands of years ago and some more recently that shed light on the spiritual path that I have embarked upon. I am grateful for the faithfulness of Holy Spirit who has kept the promise never to leave me nor forsake me. He is teaching me and guiding me and inspiring me and comforting me as I slowly wake up from the dream.

It’s been a crazy busy week. On Monday evening I was interviewed by John Evans and Ella Curry on the Black Author’s Network on Blog Talk Radio. we discussed poetry in general, my interest in poetry and then I read some of my work. I have done public speaking, I have hosted tele-seminars and I have always felt comfortable and at ease, but for some reason I was incredibly nervous at first. I guess it was because I was not leading the discussion and I had to be ready to answer the questions intelligently on a live radio show. But Ella and John were gracious and made me feel at ease. Once I got started reading my poetry I became relaxed and calm. Unfortunately, my VoIP phone kept cutting out and I had to dial back in twice. There was a terrible thunder and lightning storm that night, and whenever there’s an electrical storm, I tend to lose DSL periodically.

Here’s a link to the recording if you want to listen to the replay: Black Author’s Network World Poetry Month

In preparation for the show I was going to publish a chapbook of my work, but I was so busy I did not have time to get that together. I did put up a separate blog devoted solely to my poetry. You are welcome to take a look, http://ebbourne.wordpress.com. I was thrilled to get a flurry of comments on that new blog after the show. This is the first time I have published a blog and gotten comments on it from the very first day it was up. You’ve gotta love wordpress.com.

The Maryland Sheep & Wool festival is coming up next weekend, which is also my birthday weekend. The girls will be going off with their father and I will be free to enjoy the festival and to hang with my girlfriends. It’s an annual happening and it’s really the highlight of my spring. (Clearly I don’t get out much) I won’t be spending a butt-load of cash this year as I have in the past. I would like to get some yarn to knit myself a skirt and maybe some nice manly-looking yarn to make something for my sweetums. A few weeks ago I finished knitting a shawl with sleeves that I started about four years ago. I will blog about it and post pictures on my knitting blog, http://knitahat.blogspot.com.

As I write this I am sitting in my ‘other office,’ my local indie coffee house. They have Reggae and salsa music playing making it difficult for me to keep my butt still in my chair and write. But I am on deadline today, so I’d better end here and get some other work done.

Spring is my favorite time of year here in Washington. I love the fact that the winters are far shorter here than they were in my native Massachusetts. My girls and I enjoy going down to the tidal basin to see the trees, and we did so this past weekend. It’s a sight that I never get tired of, but we did not stay long becuase the crowds were so big. The weather was balmy and sunny, so there was a huge crush of pedestrians pushing and shoving and taking up every spare square inch of ground. We took a few pictures and then turned around and came home. Here’s a photo that Leila took of me with my somewhat scowling expression because people kept walking in front of the camera and I had a doozy of a headache.

This year I’m once again celebrating National Poetry Month. I’ve been contributing a few poems in an online poetry group on gaia.com called, Empowered by Poetry. John D. Evans, the group’s facilitator, has put together a blog talk radio show where he will be interviewing a few of the contributing poets on the show. Well, I’m one of the poets that will be interviewed! (here’s me screeching with delight and doing the happy dance).

I’ve been writing these poems and kind of squirreling them away, but now I have this fantastic opportunity to share my work with the world. So, I have decided to collect all of my scattered poems into a book. This way, I will be able say that I am a published poet when I am on the show. How awesome is that?

So, this will be a banner national poetry month for me. While I probably won’t be writing a poem a day like I did last April, I will be celebrating in the most fantastic way ever–by getting published.

Mark you calendar for April 20th at 8pm for my appearance on the Black Author’s Network Radio Show. Visit the Black Pearls Magazine for more details about the other featured poets.

I’ve also got a new article up on the, From a Writer’s POV Network web site. Please go take a peek.

Things are hopping here. The universe is expanding and I’m taking it all in. Stay tuned for details about my first volume of poetry.

Yesterday I was talking with Afridigidiva, a friend and fellow blogger. She was adding a new section to her blog that would highlight the causes that she supports. We were chatting about our various pet causes and I was assigned the task of brainstorming some more non-profits that she can add to her page.

This got me thinking about the things that I believe in and the causes that I support. Having run a non-profit organization, and having been responsible for raising the money that would fund my salary, I am fully aware of how much help non-profits need–especially during these strange times.

My first though then was about gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for as we all do. If I were to attempt to list everything here the list would take up the rest of this page and beyond. I think that even when times are tight we all need to take a look at what we do have and remember to be grateful. We can ‘tighten our belts’ and cut down on frivolous spending, but still open our hands generously to give to those people and organizations that offer help when no one else can or will. So, I’m passing along a gift that is focused on gratitude and how opening our hearts can change our lives and our world.

Next I will share a brief list of a few of the non-profits that I admire and whose work touches and saves lives:

• American Red Cross
• Capital Area Food Bank
• Food and Friends
• Kiva
• The Heifer Project
• Newborns In Need

Now it’s your turn. Give what you can and when you can’t give a financial gift, your time is even more valuable. What are some of your favorite non-profit organizations? Share them with me in a comment and I’ll post your answers later.

Happy Spring!

A few months ago, I discovered a shortcut that shaves a good five minutes off of my drive to take Leila to school in the morning. If I cut through Fort DuPont Park, I can avoid the traffic of Minnesota Avenue and Benning Roads. An added bonus is that it’s a wooded park in the National Park system. (it would be a stat park, but alas, D.C. is not a state so. . .) It’s my beautiful oasis in the middle of the city. It’s hilly, winding path should force drivers to slow down to accommodate the 25mph speed limit, however, since it’s only really used as a shortcut, those laws are largely ignored and it’s become a bit of a raceway.

This morning as I was driving this road that I drive every weekday morning, it seemed as though everything had taken on a new glow. The grass, which had been dead and brown was now springing up a lush green. The buds on the trees are all on the verge of bursting forth with blossoms. Even the sun shining in my eyes as I crested the first hill seemed to shine a bit brighter.

“Does anybody have a pen and some paper?” I called to my girls in the back seat. “I feel a poem coming on.” Jordan said that I could use her notebook. Leila sighed and said, “Jeez, mommy! You’re so weird. You feel a poem coming on?” She shook her head in disbelief. My children just don’t understand that when inspiration hits you’ve got to capture it because it can disappear as quickly as it appeared if you don’t seize it in that moment.

After I dropped the girls off, I scribbled down a few words and then came home and wrote this poem. Happy Spring, ya’ll.

Spring: A Poem by Nobody in Particular

spring’s been here mere moments
cresting the hill at Ft. Dupont
I see the sun creeping up over the horizon
bringing spring

this magic occurs each year
but my wonder never grows old
what was brittle and dead days ago
now is verdant, lush and reaching towards heaven

its an ordinary morning
I am nobody in particular
but I have poetry inside of me
mere words
but bursting with hope and promise
not unlike this precious new season

standing in witness to this re-birthing
brings renewed hopes
this endless cycle of birth and death
will continue on
there will be good days
and dark nights
there will be trials
and rejoicing
while the dream continues
God is

but today I am simply glad
to greet this newborn season
I celebrate the joy of a new day
mindful of how fleeting the moment
the gift is cherished

Evelyn B. Bourne (c) 2009