Summer’s End
This is the last day of summer for my girls. Tomorrow the eldest will begin her junior year of college, the next one will start sixth grade and my youngest will begin second grade. They have been home with me all summer for the first time. They usually attend summer camp, but as I’m now working from home I decided to keep them home rather than pay for summer camp. Can someone please tell me what I was thinking? It was definitely challenging to keep them entertained, happy, fed and out from under my feet so that I could work. We live in a small apartment, so it was not always easy. But I think that we had a lovely summer. We spent a lot of time at the library surfing the free WiFi and enjoying their arctic cold air conditioning on those super-hot days when the apartment was just to stifling. We also spent a lot of time in the pool. I am so proud of Jordan, my youngest child who progressed from being a bit skittish about even getting into the pool to now being able to swim like a fish under water.
We went home at the beginning of August for my dad’s funeral and spent a week with the family in Massachusetts. I still can’t get used to the fact that my dad is gone. It’s interesting how we grieve differently for different people in our lives. For me, I think that his death being so unexpected that shocked me. When my grandpa passed away earlier in the year he was 93 years old. He was ready to go and we were ready to let him go in peace. Yes I mourned his passing because I love him dearly, but somehow with him I felt comforted by the fact that he was finally at home in heaven. With daddy, I feel like I am experiencing all of the stages of grief in a jumbled up fashion every single day. It’s hard. I know that I should be happy that he is in heaven and that he has no more pain and that he is with God, but slefishly, I still want him to be here with me. I know that in time my feelings in this will change, but for now everything is really close to the surface for me. I’m already a crier, but jeez, it seems like everything is making me cry these days. When I saw this picture taken of me and daddy at my wedding posted on my brother’s Facebook page sent me straight over the edge:
Daddy at my Wedding
For now I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who left comments of condolence for me, my friends who sent emails and Facebook messages. It’s hard to know what to say when someone has lost a loved one. I feel like in my grief I have learned to have a lot more empathy for others who are suffering.
I am looking forward to the fall when we will be back to a regular routine and I will have quiet, uninterrupted work time at home while the girls are in school. I have some exciting projects in the pipeline for the fall and I will share them in the coming weeks.
It’s great to see that you are blogging again. Yes, we all go through different stage of grieving for our loved ones. When certain events occur for me and my family, I always think what would my parents think if they were here. You know that life takes twists and turns for a reason and it allows us to grow as human beings. Take comfort that all is well with your father and grandfather in heaven and they are looking down on you to make sure great things happen to you. I know that my parents are doing that for me all the time. Evelyn, it is too soon to see this because it has not been a month since your dad’s death. Believe me, it does get easier. Take care.